


Amnesia Love

by CaptainNinnin



Category: Original Work, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Multi, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 10:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18548044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainNinnin/pseuds/CaptainNinnin
Summary: James David Moran was a man like any other but he was going through a suicidal depression. But all of that changed in a way that he least expected.





	Amnesia Love

My name is David. And I was in a deep depression. It was so bad that I had been thinking about killing myself for some time now. And I couldn’t see a way out of it. Every time I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel I was met by more darkness. I didn’t know what I was going to do. But thankfully all of that changed one day in a way that no one would have guessed.

“Doctor I think he’s waking up.” I heard a female voice say. I thought I recognized the voice but I couldn’t place it. “Where am I?” I asked groggily as I woke up someplace unfamiliar. “You’re in a hospital sweetie.” the same female voice from before said as the doctor came into cheek on me. I realized two things right away. One she looked like she was worried for a while. And who the voice belonged to. It was: Chloe Bennet. She’s a world-famous actor. She is a part of one of my favorite shows Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and she was holding my hand and calling me sweetie.

“What are you doing here?” I asked looking at her. Then I looked around and sure enough, I WAS in a hospital room. “What am I doing here? Did I try and kill myself?” I asked the doctor. “Sweetie you’re scaring me,” Chloe said and she looked even more scared than she was now. “Why would you want to kill yourself?” the doctor asked. “Because I have been in a depression for over two years from what my family has done to me,” I said to him. “I’m his only family,” Chloe said to the doctor getting even worst. If that was possible?

This surprised me even more then her being there. Why would she say that she was my only family? “Mrs. Moran, please calm down.” the doctor said to her. __MRS.__ _ _MORAN__ _ _?__  I thought. “David can you tell me what year it is?” the doctor asked me. “Yeah,” I said doing some thinking for a second. “It’s...2018,” I said looking at them. “It’s 2021 baby,” Chloe said. “What?” I asked looking at her.

“I think I know what’s going on here.” the doctor said to both of us. “I think that blood clot when it burst it did more damage then what we thought.” the doctor said. “What blood clot?” I asked. “You had a blood clot baby and it burst while you working in your study we rushed you to the hospital and they only just managed to save your life,” Chloe said looking at me still holding my hand. “What damage did it do?” she asked the doctor. “I think that it wiped away the last three years of his life. There are some tests that we can do to see if I’m right but if this is the case he may never get those memories back.” the doctor said to her.

“But why are you here?” I asked her. “I’m your wife,” she said to me. “Y-You’re my-my wife?” I asked stunned by this news. That’s when I felt it and I looked at the hand that she was holding there they were two rings on our fingers, two wedding rings. One was on her ring finger and the other was on mine. “Why did you want to kill yourself?” she asked in tears. I was still stunned by everything that had happened. “I think I’m going to need a minute,” I said to her and the doctor.

I couldn’t believe what had happened. I had the biggest crush on Chloe Bennet. And here she was holding my hand crying because she found out that I wanted to kill myself. And she was telling me that she was my wife. And that it was 2021 and not 2018. And that a blood clot had wiped away the last three years of my memory. It was all just so much to take in...too much. My breathing became fast past and shallow. The doctor spotted it first. “He’s having a panic attack,” he said. The last thing I heard before I passed out was Chloe screaming. “Oh god.” through her tears.

*     *     *

When I woke up a part of me expected to be back in the bedroom with my shit life. And that finding out that Chloe Bennet was my wife was some very vivid dream like I had been having for a while. But then I felt her hand, it was still in mine. I looked over to my left she was sitting in a chair fast asleep with her hand in mine. We were both still in the hospital. I didn’t want to wake her but I didn’t want to be alone any more.

I gently squeezed her hand letting her know that I was awake. Her eyes fluttered open and looked at me she stood up and over me when she realized that I was awake. “Are you alright? Do you need me to call a nurse?” she asked worried about me. “No, I-I just wanted to talk to you. If that’s alright?” I said to her. She pulled up my hand and kissed it. “Of course it is sweetie,” she said and sat at the edge of my bed.

“You had a question before I passed out that I never answered,” I said looking up at her. “Why did you want to kill yourself?” she asked again this time without the tears. “There were so many reasons,” I said to her thinking about it. “I guess it all started when I was two and a half weeks old,” I said looking down at my feet. “When you were a baby?” she asked. “My biological mother left me with her parents,” I said. “I can’t imagine the sweet woman that you talk about doing that,” she said looking at me.

“Heather J. Moran?” I asked her. She nodded. “That is my biological grandmother. She and my biological grandfather James Douglas Moran raised me like I was their own child.” I said with a smile looking at her. “Then why where you named James David Moran if you were there grandson?” Chloe asked. “Is that what’s on our marriage certificate?” I asked her. “Yes of course,” she said looking at me.

“Then I must have changed it legally. Because there was no way that I would threaten this marriage.” I said to myself more than her. “What are you talking about?” she asked me. “I’ve had a serious crush on you since 2014. And I would never put a marriage with you in jeopardy just because I didn’t like the name I was given.” I said. She then leaned down and gave me a kiss. Somehow it felt familiar like I’ve done this a thousand times before.

“You never told me that. You never told me a lot of things. So please tell me now.” she said looking at me. “I was named after the man that my biological mother wanted to be my father,” I said. “Didn’t she know who it was?” she asked. “Not really. She just wanted it to be him because he was the first person to ask her to marry him.

“Anyway when she left me with her parents. Well, that was the only thing that she did right when it came to me. I was surrounded by so much love from both of them. So much that I never felt abandoned, I felt normal. Like this is how it always should be; loved by people that love you and want the best for you. That all came to an end when I was three years old when my biological mother came back for a visit for the first time in my memory.” I said looking at her.

“What did she do?” Chloe asked. “When it comes to Candice she likes to think that she should always be right. It doesn’t matter what it is, but if she thinks it then it’s right. And she thought that a child that didn’t remember her would go running up to her and say: __Mommy! I love you, mommy__ _ _.__ _ _I miss you, mommy__ _ _.__ _ _D__ _ _on’t leave me__ _ _,__ _ _mommy__ _ _.__ _ _T__ _ _ake me with you, mommy.__ ” I said doing a voice for the three-year-old child.

“But you didn’t know who she was?” Chloe said looking at me. “That’s right. And she didn’t get that. And for a very childish reason, I had started calling her parents mommy and daddy. It was something that I would have grown out of; if I was given the opportunity. But she didn’t want to give me that opportunity. All she wanted was what she wanted. And she did things that made me hate her and fear her in ways that no one should feel about their own mother.” I said to her.

“It got worse as the years went on of course. Recently I started to use the analogy that she tore my heart out, stomped on it, shit on it, pissed on it and spit on it repeatedly after I had given up on her. And then crammed it back in my chest and demanded that I love her.” I said to her and she squeezed my hand to show that she was there for me.

“And as I got older it got worse for me. I couldn’t think about getting a license like the other kids my age because I wanted to change my name. And because Candice had put my brother in a special needs program for money my school wanted to put ME in a special needs program because I was having trouble reading. It got so bad that I had to be taken out of school and home-schooled. And this is where I fell through the cracks and couldn’t get a diploma.” I said thinking about it.

“All the while my father was getting sicker and sicker. He had dementia/Alzheimer’s type of thing and he told me things that if he was in his right mind he never would have.” I said looking at my feet remembering how it felt then. “What did he tell you?” she asked concerned. “He told me that if he knew the type of man that I would grow into he would have drowned me in the creek that ran by our house when I was baby,” I said to her sadly.

“Why would he say that?” she asked shocked. “He was having vivid dreams where some of his family members were still alive and they weren’t. At first, I was the only one that could get through to him. Then he started to hate me because I was telling him that his family was dead and had been for a while. He took a few swings at me and each time it hurt not physically of course but emotionally. And the idea of killing myself started to grow.” I said looking at my feet.

“But I always could fight the thoughts of suicide. It took thinking about women like you or how I wanted to do things or get things that mattered to me. Pokémon games, certain DVDs of television shows and movies. You helped me get to this point in my life even before we met...however that was.” I said holding tight to her hand.

“How did I do that?” she asked smiling. “When mom went into the hospital, the same hospital that dad died in I pretended to talk to you. You sat in an empty chair and all I did was talk to ‘you’.” I said smiling at her. “What did we talk about?” Chloe asked smiling at me. “Anything and everything. Wrestling, the television shows that I was watching or loved; I even spent the day trying to explain Warehouse 13 to you.” I said smiling. She leaned in and gave me another kiss this time on the cheek.

“But in 2016 everything had started to go to shit. My mother died two years before and the person I thought of as a sister had turned her back on me around the same time. And I needed a place to go. So I gave mom what she wanted and I turned to my biological mother. Mom had wanted me to reconcile with her for years and I thought that it was a good time for that.

“But as soon as I did she thought that she would/should get the son that she always envisioned that I was. Or would have become if she had raised me. For two years I was up and down. I was happy then I sad then I was happy again. But then one day she had envisioned that her sister was going to move in with us and had to have everything just so.

“I was bleeding out of my ass,” I said. “You had an anal fissure?” she asked looking at me concerned. I clearly still dealt with that problem from time to time. “Yes. I was bleeding so bad that I had to change the paper towels that I had stuffed down my ass to soak up the blood twice a day.” I said thinking back. “Didn’t they take you to the hospital?” she asked holding my hand tightly. “No, she said they didn’t have the money for a hospital visit. I wasn’t complaining though I don’t like hospitals although if it hadn’t have let up I was going to have them take me that Friday.

“Anyway, she came home one day all excited. She had picked out the colors that she was going to paint the three rooms that her husband had said that she could repaint and redecorate to impress her sister.” I said. “Wait they couldn’t take you to a hospital but they could repaint and redecorate three rooms?” Chloe asked angrily. “Yeah,” I said. She looked like she could tear apart the family that I had never told her about right now.

“Well, she looked over at me as I grimaced in pain and she started laughing,” I said. “I want to tear this bitch apart,” Chloe said angrily. “She wasn’t laughing at my pain. In fact, it was worse. She was laughing because she __‘knew’__  I didn’t like the color yellow. Which she had decided to paint one of the rooms. She was judging me by the version of me in her head. This made me depressed.

“Then everything that I did to get out of this depression was __‘not what I should be doing’__  according to them. I then had to turn to my writing after that and I started writing detailed stories about things that I loved. But every time I would make some headway I had to stop because they __‘didn’t have the money’__  for me to get the things that I needed. But when my brother wanted something that he didn’t need or wasn’t going to go the way that he had wanted it was told __‘__ _ _sure sweetie anything for you__ _ _’__  more or less. And her husband was always making decisions that made sense to him but weren’t the right decisions for our family.” I said tearing up.

“Everywhere I turned I was met by darkness. And that’s where I am right now.” I said to her as I started to cry. “No you’re not,” she said forcefully. “You have ****ME****  now. I love you and I have for two years now. And I will love you for two hundred more.” she said holding tight to my hand with tears streaming down her face.

“You shouldn’t cry Mrs. Moran it will give you worry lines,” I said with a smile while still crying. “I’ll stop if you stop Mr. Moran,” she said with a little laugh. And then I leaned forward and she leaned down and we shared a kiss. The type of kiss that made anyone that shared it know that they were loved by the person that was kissing them, always and forever.


End file.
